It’s Me, not Them.

It’s Me not Them.

About a month back, I asked my eldest daughter to suggest me some topics for writing in my blog “Positive Thoughts”. She recommended a couple of topics and one of them was “It’s Me not Them”. I liked the topic, however could not bring myself to write on it for about three weeks. The reason was that   I myself did not practice this thought in its entirety and blame others whenever things do not go as per my expectations. That brings me to another topic that she recommended, “Practice versus Preaching” and thus it reminded me to correct myself to some extent before I articulate my views on the current topic. I was reminded of a story of a saint who was a faith healer. Once a mother brought her son to him and asked the saint, “My son eats too much of sugar, please advise him.” The saint told the mother to come back after two weeks. On this visit the saint simply advised the boy not to eat too much sugar as it is bad for health. The mother was perplexed and asked the saint that why he had to wait for two weeks for this simple piece of advice which he could have rendered the first time. The saint replied,”I was myself eating too much of sugar then and I had to correct myself before I render any advice.” So it is always us and not others who have to make a change in our conduct. Having felt the theme somewhat, I now venture to write a few lines on the topic by quoting from Sikh scriptures which elucidate the issue very clearly.

We are creator of our own actions which lead to good or bad results; others or the circumstances are not to be blamed. We create the circumstances and also give universe the command to fructify our desires which are accordingly granted. Thus it is pointless to blame others or our destiny for anything which goes wrong. Guru Arjun Devji the fifth Guru of the Sikhs has written in Shri Guru Granth Sahib (SGGS,) the following verse which bears testimony to above thought.

“ ਦੋਸ ਨਾ ਦੀਜੈ ਕਾਹੂ ਲੋਗ , ਜੋ ਕਮਾਵਨ ਸੋਈ ਭੋਗ ||” (Dos Na Deejai kahu log, jo kamaavan so-ee bhog)

“ Don’t blame others, O people, as you plant, so shall you harvest.” (SGGS, Page 888)

Guru Nanak Ji has echoed similar sentiments when he says;

“ਹਮ ਨਹੀਂ ਚੰਗੇ, ਬੁਰਾ ਨਹੀਂ ਕੋਈ || (Hum nahi channge bura nahi koi)

I am not good and no one is bad (SGGS Page 728)

A similar story is told in Mahabharat, (Indian epic) when Lord Krishna calls Yudhisthira and Duryodhana the two different personalities to look for good and bad people in the world. Next day, Yudhisthira reported to Lord Krishna that he has found no bad person in the world whereas Duryodhana’s observation was that there was no good person on this earth. Thus we perceive others as per our vision. We write our own script, good or bad and command the Universe to fulfill it. If we wish to achieve good results with feel good factor, we got to remodel our thoughts and conceive a script accordingly.

So let me change myself, create pleasant environments, do my bit and consider all as our friends and none as our foe. Let me believe in “Sarbat Da Bhala” (Well being of all human beings) and cultivate tolerance, patience, forgiveness, diligence, dedication, positive thinking, contentment, grace, empathy and righteous living. Let me conquer my ego and mind as the best conquest is the conquest of the Self as Gurbani puts it, “ਮਨ ਜੀਤੈ ਜਗਜੀਤ” (Mann jeetai jagjeet), “One who conquers one-self conquers the world.” (SGGS, Page 6)



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