At times, I wonder as to why our kids get put off by our behaviour. We only wish them well and pray that they achieve success. But on a deeper introspection, I find that we as parents are trying to impose our ideas or template of conduct on them without realising that times have changed and what was applicable say 30 years ago is not applicable now. After all there is a generation gap and we need to empathise with them. What our parents did for us and what we did for them is no longer valid now.
I think, in the present day era, everyone requires a distinct space and values his/her privacy. This is the prime cause of differences amongst the parents and their children. If we as elders can appreciate it and remodel our behaviour accordingly; I assure you that there would be peace and harmony in the family and both the children and parents would be happy. I feel that the following steps would definitely help in maintaining harmonious relations in any family.
A. Do not intrude into the privacy of your children. It implies, no unnecessary prying into their personal life and finances.
B. Assure your children that you are always there for any support should a need arise, but keep aloof from their daily activities.
C. Put aside sufficient means for your sustenance and do not be a burden on your children as long as you can help.
D. Do not have very high expectations from your children and never recount what you did for them. Also never narrate the tales of what you did for your parents. Remember those were different times and circumstances.
E. Stop giving frequent and unnecessary advice to your offsprings. None likes too much of preaching and M.L (Moral Lectures). Give your advice only when specifically asked for.
F. Respect your children’s views, after all they are a generation ahead of you and well versed with modern philosophy. Each one of us can learn from the younger generation.
G. Be a silent friend to your kids who could be reached when required and with whom they can share their problems freely.
H. Stay cool, you had your good time and now let your kids enjoy their time.
I. Always be thankful for whatever assistance they render to you and appreciate them for their effort and time.
I wish, I can emulate the above to the extent possible. To sum up, I would like to share a link to a wonderful song by Dr Alban, “It is my life.” Every word of this song speaks exactly of this issue.
Have a good day,